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I am slowly learning that when friends say they are happy to help, they really are happy to help. I have to admit that I am stubborn and try to do as much as I can independently - not sure whether I need to prove to myself that I am capable or prove to others that I am capable - regardless, I have always had difficulty asking for help.

In my old life, I didn't have to ask friends to help. My job was a stay at home Mom. I love to cook, help my children and keep a home. My ex took me to run errands, picked up things we needed and assisted in keeping the home. Now that he has been issued a one way ticket to Dumpville, I no longer have a driver. Most of my errands I can look after by myself with a back pack and a plan but some errands need a driver and a car. Today, I needed to get a 30 pound bag of dog food for my guide, Hope. I needed to restock at the liquor store and the beer store (yes, alcohol is my vice of choice). I drink gin and tonic and a “friend” drinks vodka and tonic so that also requires a restock of tonic. I have not done a big grocery shop for 3 weeks, so I also needed to restock all the kitchen, laundry and cleaning staples. I am hosting friends for dinner this weekend, so need to ensure that I have both red and white wine available. Needless to say, a little difficult to carry all of this in my back pack. What to do? I called a friend, and asked if she had time this week to take me shopping. Guess What? She said yes!!! And also said she was available any time I needed her. Today at book club, 4 other friends reminded me that they are happy to help me out whenever I ask.

So what have I learned today? When friends offer to help, they really are willing to help. I should not let my stubbornness, nor my reluctance to appear dependent interfere with my normal daily living. I need to accept that I do sometimes need help and that my friends really are happy to help. I need to accept that I have amazing friends - they support my independence and they support my dependence. I need to accept that occasionally I am dependent.


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