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The crazy mixed up world of blind dating
I have been single now for a year and a half and have taken the leap into the unknown waters of the dating world. Remember, I am 55. The last time I had a first date, I was 18 years old. Back in those days we went to bars, we met at school, we had lots of single friends with single friends. Finding a reasonable date was relatively easy. Finding a reasonable date at age 55 is a little more challenging.
I am always up front and make sure a potential date knows that I am blind. I always offer two choices - they can run away, as long as they are not carrying scissors, hedge clippers, or chain saws - or they can ask any and all questions they may have. Some run, some ask questions:
- Do you make your own bed?
- Who cooks for you?
- How do you know what clothes you are wearing?
- How do you know if your clothes match?
- How do you know what room you are in?
- Does your dog tell you when it’s time to wake up?
- How much better is your hearing now?
- What do blind people do for fun?
- I can’t see a thing without my glasses, so I know how it is
- How do you know where you are going?
- How do you know when you get where you want to go?
- Who reads to you?
- Do you want to feel my face?
- Are you allowed to drive?
- How awful is it to be blind?
- How do blind people have sex?
- Does that mean I don’t have to blindfold you? (there’s a red flag if I ever saw one!)
- Do you go to movies?
- How do you know what you want to eat at a restaurant?
- Do you go to hockey games / baseball games / music conerts / live theatre?
I understand the questions are based on ignorance and/or naivete, and each question provides an opportunity to educate someone and teach them that blindness is not a debilitating disability, it is simply part of who I am. I believe I have a choice: I can let my vision loss determine how I manage to live my life or I can let how I live my life determine how I manage vision loss. I choose the latter. And no thank you, I don’t want to feel your face - perhaps another time.